How to Survive your Post-Lockdown Christmas
Five De-stressing tips... And a partridge in a pear tree.
What started as a Christian holiday has now become a headache and a half for a lot of Australians. Christmas is a national holiday and has now been nominated by the Victorian government as the reward for the end of the COVID Road Map. ‘Some reward, huh?’ you might be thinking and you wouldn’t be alone. As this Christmas day carries not only its regular stress, but also the stress of being the first day that Victorians can have 30 people in their homes.
If you like Christmas, have a perfect family holiday every year or celebrate the holiday because of your religious beliefs, well done, enjoy your holiday as usual, this article is not for you. If you have a difficult relationship with your family, suffer from anxiety and/ or depression, or have just lost your sense of “Christmas Joy”, pull up a chair.
This year presents a unique brand of Hell for Christmas. On top of the usual chaos, you’ll have to deal with the complications COVID has introduced. Christmas this year could look like; a dining room spread of the saddest unloved vegetables and tofu ham substitute; Your aunt that insists 'Facebook is the only reliable source of news" is refusing to pass the salt as she argues the medical “benefits” of horse de-wormer; and the children are crying because the presents you ordered weeks ago still haven't arrived.
Take a moment to breathe, for there is good news. All that can be avoided with these tips.
1. Be prepared
A Small child tugs at your pant leg, “Where’s the presents? They’re not under the tree,” a true horror for a child and even worse for the parent who has to face their little disappointed sulking. Yes, this seems obvious, but this year being prepared is as important as it’s ever been. With readjusting to non-lockdown Victoria and the delays in Australia Post deliveries, the weeks coming up to Christmas day will be a hellscape if you are doing everything last minute.
Australia Post’s Rob Clothier, Head of Operations SA (Deliveries), explains in a press release from 22nd October “...we know how busy the festive season can be after last year’s record-breaking Christmas" and this is due to the massive increase of online shopping. The September postal strikes have reverberations and if you want to avoid the stress of sitting by the door scanning the streets for the fluorescent vest and motorcycle on Christmas Eve hoping for the presents or decorations to arrive, start looking online and in shop now.
Same with meat and veg, as prices will and already have increased. And buy local. its quick, immediate and supports a local business.
2. Set Boundaries
Aunty Meryl latches on to your offhand comment about having not seen everyone in so long and now you’re trapped in the hallway listening to how “Dictator Dan” locked us up so he could pump 5G into our veins for Bill Gates, blah, blah, blah…
Nightmare fuel. Thank goodness this can be avoided. You’ve likely been craving to see family you haven’t in ages, being locked away from loved ones is very difficult. But do not let that keep you from protecting your mental and emotional state from toxic habits or family members. Living in Victoria the last two years means being gaslit by the media during an emotionally draining pandemic. It wasn’t easy on any of us. But with misinformation spread of Facebook and other social media and it’s likely that relative has latched on to some sort of conspiracy theory. If you don’t want to hear it, set that boundary. A simple ‘No COVID talk’ in the invitation and a reminder can save you from that argument.
Relationships Australia Victoria (RAV) states in their Good Communication tip sheet “It’s important to communicate effectively at home and at work as misunderstandings can lead to disagreements and strong emotions such as anger and sadness.” Outline your boundaries clearly from the get go and define the parameters to keep this Christmas civil and headache-less.
3. Drink Responsibly
Get a couple of drinks into everyone and Aunt Meryl brings up that argument from three years ago with your mother, you know the one, it’s been lurking under blanket of polite conversation waiting for you all to let your guards down. Last time it lasted a week. Who knows how long this one will be?
Alcohol makes it harder to control impulses and determine whether a decision is good or bad. “This is because alcohol can make you less self-reflective, less able to process multiple cues and decrease your ability to resolve conflict,” according to health education campaign Alcohol Think Again.
Although drinking your feelings away sometimes sounds ideal, it only leads to a headache, either literal or emotionally. Pace yourself, eat before drinking and don’t drink more than four standards. Yeah, I know, easier said than done, but at least give it a go. The more you limit your drinking the more able you are to enforce your boundaries as well as look after yourself and those around you. If you are hosting Christmas make sure there are lots of non-alcoholic alternatives and food from start to finish to negate some of the issues that might arise when a family member gets too drunk.
4. Look after yourself first
You’re burnt out from slaving over the stove, keeping the conversation civil and thanklessly organising everything for the last three weeks. You haven’t eaten or slept and are one slightly passive aggressive comment away from ripping your hair out.
Let’s nip that in the bud before we let it get to that stage. Again, this sounds obvious, but it is important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. People often forget the basics when prepping for a major holiday, remember to eat healthily, drink water and take your medication if applicable. With the added stress of coming out of the world’s longest lockdown, you really need to put your needs at the forefront. Self-care, taking breaks and listening to your body is extra important especially around anniversary stress.
5. Don’t set up expectations
Nothing’s gone to plan. The dinner is a mess, the meat and veg substitutes didn’t go down well and the family is arguing as you slip into the bedroom to cry. Not ideal, is it?
We live in Australia, so you probably already know Christmas will never look like what we see in cards and holiday movies. Don’t plan on the perfect family dinner.
“Perfectionism can actually result in worse performance, missed opportunities, strained relationships, poor mental and physical health, and unhappiness,” according to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Victoria, Inc. website.
Acknowledge the little achievements and moments of joy. December can be a time for people with depression or anxiety that causes dissociation more often. Centre yourself through your senses. Use a grounding exercise: name 5 things you see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell and 1 thing you can taste. And remember to breathe.
This was a worst-case scenario. No matter how bad Christmas day goes for you, it will be better than this, especially if you consider these tips. Good luck and Merry Christmas!
Photo by David Orsborne: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-joy-candle-holder-724825/
